Grass Is Alligators

by Rob Lambert

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    6-Panel Digipak includes all lyrics and is illustrated with a
    full-color "Grass Is Alligators"-themed scene.

    Includes a personalized Post-It thank you note from Rob! :)

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    (guitar shown in product images not included)

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credits

released October 20, 2013

All songs written by Rob Lambert.

Performed by Rob Lambert and Steve Dawson
plus Julie Ann Larsen backing vocals on
"Move Away", "Grass Is Alligators" & "Tomorrow".

Recorded and mixed by Steve Dawson at Kernel Sound Emporium.
stevedawsonmusic.com

Mastered by Peter Andreadis at All City Mastering
www.allcitymastering.com

Additional recording by Rob at Zabada HQ.
Artwork by Rob.

Thanks to: Mary, Steve, Julie & Peter
Old Town School, Old Town School songwriting classmates, coop friends, Sue Demel, Rooney & Lambert Families

In memory of Pablo, the best dog ever!

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about

Rob Lambert Chicago, Illinois

I'm in Chicago cooking up songs just for you! My music is made up of a dash of T-Rex, a pinch of Adam Sandler & gallons of a super-secret sauce.

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Track Name: Grass Is Alligators
ground is lava
the ground is molten lava
i don’t know why
leap carefully onto the sofa
or you’re gonna die
grass is alligators
the grass is alligators
i don’t know why
climb cautiously across the swing set
or you’re gonna die
red light green light, kick the can
hide and seek’s not better than
red rover, simon says
none of these are as fun as
grass is alligators
the grass is alligators
i don’t know why
jump like a frog into the sandbox
or you’re gonna die
cross my heart and hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
i see london, i see france
i do a dance when someone chants
ground is lava
the ground is molten lava
i don’t know why
leap gracefully onto the la-z-boy
or you’re gonna die
quickly jump back, onto the sofa
or you’re gonna die

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: drums, bass, guitar, vocals
julie: vocals
Track Name: You
it wasn’t love at first sight,
nor love at first taste or smell
but I’ve grown to love you and only you,
a day without you is a day in hell
‘cause i love you, I want you, i need you
running through my veins,
propping up my brain,
i cannot abstain from you
running thru my veins,
propping up my brain,
i cannot abstain from you
you’re the only one in my cup,
you’re the best part of waking up
you’re good to the last drop,
there’s not a chance i will ever stop you
‘cause i love you, i want you, i need you
running thru my veins,
propping up my brain,
i cannot abstain from you
running thru my veins,
propping up my brain,
i cannot abstain from you
‘cause I love you, you, you

rob: vocals, guitar
steve: drums, bass, barione guitar, piano, melodica, vocals
Track Name: Move Away
during morning coffee and toast
i was dreaming about the west coast
trying to think of reasons we should stay
here in this morbid cold, when I saw that bread mold
it was a sign that today was the day
i know it sounds cliche,
but I see no reason to delay
let’s just sail our ship and move away
i don’t care if it is fool’s gold,
this state is getting old, like a dirty ashtray
who cares where, let’s just go west
illinois makes me depressed
i’m buying two non-stop one-ways
i know it sounds cliche,
I see no reason to delay
let’s just sail our ship and move away

rob: vocals, acoustic guitars
steve: drums, bass, electric guitar, organ
julie: vocals
Track Name: Koga
facing my captor, eye to eye
i bite that woman on her thigh
i’ve never known freedom until today,
i don’t know what to do or what to say
hey freaked out people, why so uptight?
i’m just running downtown, gonna party tonight
prowling the scene with vincent gallo,
it is ladies night in buffalo
i feel a sting on my back, i’m seeing butterflies,
all warm and fuzzy, i’ve been tranquilized
back in my cage, it’s not so bad
three meals a day, but oh the fun i coulda had

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: keyboard
Track Name: Outsourced (My Love)
outsourced my love life, logistics are tricky.
it’s not as satisfying, but a lot less sticky.
bangalore, india to kiev, ukraine.
it’s not as much fun, but it’s half the pain.
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!
hyderabad, delhi, chennai, mumbai,
it really doesn’t matter that i am so shy.
shanghai, shenzhen, guangzhou, beijing.
no guilt if it turns out to be just a fling.
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!
this is not ideal, for a warm embrace,
at least I don’t have to break up face-to-face.
I really love that I have breathing space.
but it’s really quite tough to just to get to first base.
(let alone home)(let alone home)(let alone home)
outsourced my love life for pennies on the dollar.
i really don’t mind that i can’t hear her holler.
philippines, malasia & vietnam
are a long way away, but then so is her mom.
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!
i outsourced my love! outsourced my love life!

rob: vocals, guitar, keyboards (sitar, flutes, violins, etc)
steve: drums, bass, guitar
Track Name: Smile
me and eeyore and charlie brown are on the floor,
just sittin’ around, talking ‘bout the weather and this and that,
listening to beck sing “where it’s at”.
“that’s beautiful dad” and then the horn.
chuck mentions a child who was stillborn.
i hang my head and the donkey cries.
my soul feels dead and a puppy dies.
oh no, oh my, just bite your tongue and smile.
eeyore wipes his eyes and turns the page,
stops the record, puts on “sea change”.
mlk was killed while the donald thrives.
now beck guesses that he’s doing fine.
charlie says he’s worthless & has clipped wings,
wishes he wasn’t born and the usual things.
i fear growing old, living in the slums,
eeyore sees his funeral and no one comes.
oh no, oh my, just bite your tongue and smile.
a crisis is easy, work hard and pray,
the challenge is dealing with every day.
me and eeyore and charlie brown, are on the floor,
just sittin’ around. charlie’s sure he’ll never find a wife.
what comes after death could be worse than life.
oh no, oh my, just bite your tongue and smile.

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: drums, bass, lap steel
Track Name: Wake Up
i was watching the radio,
as i was listening to my vegetables.
i was tasting that cadillac,
i was smelling the sharp pain in my back.
i was swimming over the moon,
i was flying in a black & white cartoon.
i was walking on top of a dc-10,
i was listening to my veggies again.
i woke up and realized time was flying
and I kinda freaked the frack out.
it dawned on me that we’re all slowly dying,
and no one knows what they’re talking about.
i was watching the radio,
as I was listening to my vegetables.

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: bass, drums
Track Name: Beaches and Trees
you, and me, kissing in a tree.
not really.
at least we’ve gotta tree.
he, and she, in love at the beach.
not really.
at least they’re at the beach.
them, and we, happy as can be.
not really.
at least we’ve got tv.
you. and me. sitting in a tree.

rob: vocals, guitars, keyboards
steve: drums, bass, keyboards
Track Name: My Brother
oh oh oh oh...
swatting flies off of my brother’s eyes,
as he lies on the cool concrete where he died.
oh oh oh oh...
nose to nose, why did we come to blows,
over our bowls and bones my brother, pablo?
oh oh oh oh...
my heart is aching so,
i have got to go outside, my friend,
i’ve got it coming out of both ends.
oh oh oh oh...
swatting flies off of my brother’s eyes,
as he lies on the cool concrete where he died,
oh oh oh oh...

rob: vocals, guitar
steve: piano, guitar
Track Name: Ocean
i’d love to read every book that has ever been written.
at least the ones that are above a certain threshold of quality.
but a vast majority, i will never, ever read.
i’d love to watch every movie that has ever been filmed.
at least the ones rated 31⁄2 stars or more by some magazine.
but a vast majority, i will never, ever see.
i could spend every waking hour, of every waking day,
taking it all in and i would only drink a cup or two
of the ocean of stuff that has ever been.
i’d love to listen to every album that has ever been recorded.
at least the ones that are better than bad,
the ones that rock to some degree.
but a vast majority i will never, ever hear.
i could spend every waking hour, of every waking day
taking it all in, and i would only drink a cup or two
of the ocean of stuff that has ever been.
i’d love to read every book... mmmmmm.
i’d love to watch every movie... mmmmmm.
i’d love to listen to every record... mmmm hmmmm.
i’m gonna jump in the ocean, i’m gonna swim in the sea.
i’m gonna jump in the ocean, i’m gonna swim in the sea.
and see.

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: bass, drums, organ, vocals
Track Name: Gone
everything good is gone.
everything good is gone, gone, gone.
housekeepers: gone.
prostitutes: gone.
bodyguards: gone.
fancy cars: gone.
all of my flocks of beautiful ladies are gone, gone, gone.
everything good is gone.
everything good is gone, gone, gone.
i miss the thrill.
i miss the chase.
i miss the parties.
i miss the bass.
i miss the wine.
i miss the women.
oh, man, do i miss the women.
everything good is gone.
everything good is gone, gone, gone.
all i got are empty whisky bottles
and overturned, sand-filled skiffs.
all i got is the thrill of catching lobsters
as i dream of seizing ships again.
why didn’t i save some loot for a rainy day?
‘cause now i haven’t got a cent.
i can’t believe that i’m a soccer coach.
the kids mockingly ask me where my parrot went.
everything good is gone.
everything good is gone, gone, gone.
everything good is gone.
everything good is gone.

rob: vocals, guitar, bass
steve: guitar
Track Name: A Saturday
i walked out of the bathroom
an old guy with long white hair walked into the theater.
he saw my popcorn on a bench and
he rapidly said said “that looks good, so good.”
i told him “you can have it” his eyes opened wide
and he gratefully picked it up.
i almost bought him a snickers but i just walked away.
it was a saturday night, living it up on saturday night.
it was a saturday night, living it up on a saturday.
we walked out of the theatre,
i thought about all the hungry people in this city.
and all the food I’ve wasted and dumb stuff that I’ve bought.
we went next door to play skee-ball,
no one else was playing games at the bowling alley.
mary and i played eight games each and won 77 tickets!
it was a saturday night, living it up on saturday night.
it was a saturday night, living it up on a saturday.
it was a saturday night. living it up on a saturday.
we cashed in our tickets,
we got two foam dice and a green pack of lick-m-aid.
i saw some children on a bench
and i wished i’d given the tickets to them.
we drove home, i got into bed,
i was waiting for mary and i began writing this song.
she got busy with work email and i fell asleep.
it was a saturday night, living it up on saturday night.
it was a saturday night, living it up on a saturday.

rob: vocals, guitars, mandolin
steve: bass, hippie drum
Track Name: Tomorrow
well, the end times are here,
may as well have a beer,
we’ve had a good run,
but we’ll all disappear
tomorrow.
it’s the end of the road,
and the seeds that we sowed,
will be forgotten when the sky implodes,
tomorrow.
at least I don’t have to do
that performance review
for my soul-sucking job that’s long over-due
tomorrow.
but we better prepare,
for the place upstairs.
let’s say our prayers,
and hope we go there
tomorrow.
it’s the end of the world,
as we know it, and i feel fine.
i stole that line for “tomorrow”.
today is the greatest day i’ve ever known.
we’ve got tonight, who needs...
well, the news got it wrong,
this is not our swan song.
we’re gonna make it,
a whole lot longer than
tomorrow.
so what shall we do,
now that we are not through,
when the sun shines on,
the morning dew
tomorrow?
let’s order breakfast in bed,
and then instead,
of going to work,
let’s rejoice we’re not dead,
all day tomorrow.

rob: vocals, guitars
steve: drums, bass
julie: vocals